After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
