I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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