Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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