we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
