I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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