I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
