I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
