I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
