you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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