There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
