What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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