Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
