I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
