I'm going to jail i love you
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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