Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
