She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
