So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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