so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
