waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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