They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
