She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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