Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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