A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
