Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
