How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
