Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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