Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
