So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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