So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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