I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
