At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
