i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
