lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
