The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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