the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
