Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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