do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
