Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
