you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
