dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
