Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
