She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
