True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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