There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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