Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
