He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
