you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
