I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize