I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
