Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
