i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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